The Only Right Way to Ask for an Intro (Everything Else Is Wrong)
intro requests that don’t suck
You’ve done your research, stalked the org chart like a LinkedIn ninja, and found the perfect person at the company you want to partner with. You could cold email them… but why go in cold when you can get the warm, cozy, blanket-intro treatment?
So: how do you engineer a killer intro without looking desperate or annoying?
This is your definitive, battle-tested, no-BS guide to asking for introductions (business, social, fundraising, romantic mischief—whatever).
Understand the Target and the Connector
The “Target” = the person you want an intro to.
Rule #1: they should actually WANT to meet you. Otherwise, you’re just asking someone to forward your thirst trap of an email. Put yourself in their shoes: do they care? If not, why the heck would they want an intro?
The “Connector” = the person doing the actual intro.
Rule #2: the connector only wins if both sides are happy. If the intro is lopsided, the connector looks like a schmuck, and you just torched that relationship.
Simple formula: Ask for intros where the Target actually benefits and the Connector looks good. If either of those fails? Abort mission.
Mechanics of an Introduction
The best intros are double-opt-in (everyone consents—just like dating, but less weird).
Here’s the five-step dance:
The Ask: you email the connector requesting an intro.
The Forward: connector forwards your email to the target with a “thought you two should connect” vibe.
The Reply: target says “sure.”
The Connect: connector loops you both in.
The Schedule Ask: you swoop in and book time.
The Ask (the most important step)
Let’s dissect.
The Good Ask
Subject: intro to Tod Sacerdoti – AI partnership
Auren: can you intro me to Tod Sacerdoti, CEO of Pipedream? AFakeAICompany has 2 dozen customers in common with Pipedream (Walmart, United Airlines, etc.) and we could help them more with a tighter partnership. Also, we’re a Pipedream customer and I’ve got some useful product feedback (including 2 bugs I found). I’ll be in SF in 2 weeks and would love to meet. Jane Doe [LinkedIn link] CEO, AFakeAICompany
Why is this great?
Subject line is clear (no “quick question” BS).
Target is clearly ID’d.
LinkedIn link included (because nobody remembers every Tod).
Strong reason for the Target to care (shared customers + useful feedback).
Credibility shown (CEO, real customers, link to profile).
Easy to forward (short, clean, email-native).
The Bad Ask Hall of Shame
Don’t ask for intros to people who don’t want to meet you. Asking for Peter Thiel, Marc Andreessen, or Sam Altman intros without bringing anything valuable? That’s like asking to borrow someone’s Ferrari because you “just feel like driving.”
Don’t ask via LinkedIn. LinkedIn DMs are where messages go to die. Also: not forwardable.
Don’t ask via text, WhatsApp, or X. Same problem. These are un-forwardable black holes.
Don’t forget the LinkedIn profile of the Target. The connector’s memory isn’t Google.
Don’t forget your bonafides. If you look like a rando, you’ll be treated like one.
Don’t make it long. Everyone’s reading this on their phone while in line for coffee. Keep it short.
Don’t ask for multiple intros in one email. That’s like asking someone to carry your groceries, your luggage, and your emotional baggage all at once. Plus, that is also not forwardable.
How The Forward Works
A good connector isn’t your assistant—they’re a filter. Their job is to quickly sniff out: will the Target actually benefit from this intro? If yes, they’ll hit the magical “forward” button with a short, flattering note.
Example:
Subject: FW: intro to Tod Sacerdoti – AI partnership Tod: want an intro to Jane Doe [LinkedIn link here]? AFakeAICompany is growing fast and Jane is super sharp. ––––– Forwarded message ———From: Jane Doe <jane@AFakeAICompany.com> Date: Sun, Sep 7, 2025 at 02:08 AM Subject: intro to Tod Sacerdoti – AI partnership To: Auren Hoffman Auren: can you intro me to Tod Sacerdoti, CEO of Pipedream? AFakeAICompany has 2 dozen customers in common with Pipedream (including Walmart and United Airlines) and we could help these customers more with a tighter partnership. Plus, we are also a Pipedream customer and I have some great product feedback (including 2 bugs I found). I’ll be in SF in 2 weeks and would love to meet up. Jane Doe [LinkedIn link] CEO, AFakeAICompany
If the Target bites, congrats—you’ll get a shiny new email intro connecting you both. If you hear nothing? Chill. It’s fine to send one follow-up. Just one. (Sometimes the connector needs a nudge, sometimes the Target’s in inbox purgatory.) More than that and you go from “diligent” to “stage-five clinger.”
The Schedule Ask: How to Seal the Deal
Getting the intro ≠ getting the meeting. Busy people live in calendar Tetris hell. Here’s how to win that game:
Pounce fast. Respond to the intro email IMMEDIATELY —ideally within a few hours. Momentum is everything.
BCC the connector. Do not litter their inbox. Treat them like royalty.
Offer options. Suggest 4–5 times that work for you. Also invite them to loop in their assistant or drop a Calendly.
Don’t be dumb. Don’t ask for a meeting right before you’re off on vacation. That’s self-sabotage.
Don’t play coy. You asked for the intro—don’t suddenly turn into a diva who’s “super slammed this week.” You wanted this; now act like it.
No Calendly flexing. You’re the pursuer, not the prize. Let them use Calendly if they want. You? You chase.
The Commandment
There is really only one way to ask for an intro: clear, short, double-opt-in, email-forwardable.
Everything else? Thou shalt not. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
Nine-Point Summary (because ten is just too many):
Asking for an intro? Rule #1: would the other person actually want to meet you? If not, stop. You’re asking someone to forward your thirst trap.
A connector only wins if both sides are happy. If the intro is lopsided, you didn’t network—you committed social arson. 🔥
Great intro email = short, clear, easy to forward. Bad intro email = LinkedIn DM. Which is basically a cry for help.
Don’t ask for an intro to Sam Altman unless you can offer him something. Otherwise you’re just asking your friend to light themselves on fire for you.
Schedule Ask pro tip: BCC the connector. Don’t make them watch the sausage get scheduled. Protect their inbox.
You asked for the intro—don’t play hard to get. That’s like proposing and then saying, “actually, I’m not free this week.”
LinkedIn DMs are where intro requests go to die. Email = forwardable. LinkedIn = landfill.
If you’re asking for multiple intros in one email, you might as well title it: “Here’s some free labor I want from you.”
Want to look like a pro? Respond to an intro email within hours. Wait 5 days and you’ve gone from “exciting” to “who dis?”
The only real rule of intros: short, clear, double-opt-in, email-forwardable. Everything else is crime.
note: Flex Capital invests in 80+ seed-stage start-ups per year (~2 per week). typical check is $400k. please reach out if you know amazing founders that want to change the world.
X of the week:
if you like this article, please do three things:
share it with someone you admire
follow me (@auren) on X
subscribe to the “World of DaaS” podcast
(if you hate this, please share with all your enemies)
Good advice.
Great advice and something we encourage our Roots of Progress writing fellows to do.
My only minor disagreement: I will include my Calendly in the scheduling ask—not as the first thing but as an additional option. I want to avoid suggesting some times, then those don’t work, and we have several email back-and-forths to find time.
“Would love to talk. I’m pretty open Wednesday or Thursday after 1 pm, or Friday before 12 pm PT. Or if it’s easier, here’s my Calendly.”