VCs are the worst run businesses … they never take their own advice
'One CEO per startup!’ — meanwhile their firm has a 4 managing partners, a co-managing partner, a vice managing partner, and 8 partner emeritus …
Venture capital firms never take their own advice.
they tell founders that competition is for losers, but they sell an undifferentiated product that is insanely competitive with some of the smartest people in the world
they tell founders to have 1 CEO and they have 5 CEOs
they tell founders to grow fast and take dilution, but they rarely take dilution
they tell founders to go public, but they never go public
they tell founders to take low salaries and optimize on equity, but they take insanely high salaries
they tell founders to keep expenses low so you can invest in the business, but they pay for private jets out of their fund
they tell founders to leverage the company’s strengths and expand, but they keep doing the same exact thing year over year
they tell founders that board governance is key, but they have almost no oversight on their firm
they tell founders that acquisitions can be accretive, but they never acquire another business
they tell the founders that they don’t need new equity compensation after 4 years, but the VCs always give themself more or they stop working
“‘Low salaries build character,’ says guy expensing a $244 sushi lunch on a Tuesday.” 💳
“'One CEO per startup!’ — meanwhile their firm has a 4 managing partners, a co-managing partner, a vice managing partner, and 8 partner emeritus …”
“‘Go public, it’s the path to greatness’ — never goes public, never plans to, please stop asking.”
“VC governance structure: a Slack channel, a beach house, and vibes.”
“‘Dilution is a badge of honor,’ they whisper… as they dodge dilution harder than a cap table ninja.” 🥷📊
“You: building something real. Them: flying private to a ‘board meeting’ in Napa.” ✈️🍷
“VCs: ‘Think different.’ Also VCs: funds 9 crypto payroll APIs in a row.”
“‘We love founders!’ Translation: until you ask for a refresh, then it’s ‘new blood’ time.” 💀🩸
“VCs love to tell you what to do — just don’t ask them to follow it.” 🗣️🙉
note: Flex Capital invests in 100 seed-stage start-ups per year (2 per week). typical check is $400k. please reach out if you know amazing founders that want to change the world.
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agree? disagree?
Agree and if you haven’t, I suggest checking out Dave Wharton’s book just out which reads as a memoir + business guide: “Another Way: Building Companies That Last,” with related critiques and recommendations.